Ever since I fucked up this weekend it's just messed up my entire routine, yesterday I ate too much and today I ate too much I purge 4 times so far this week and its only Wednesday, i hate throwing up its so disgusting but I cant make myself keep the food I've eaten inside, I went to the gym by myself yesterday, I didnt go today cause I just didnt and I'll probably go tomorrow as well, I have to eat before i go tho like a decent meal cause I find that if I dont I just dont have the energy to work out so I do like an hour then stop cause I get dizzy. my whole butterfly program thing is messed up too because I fucked up so I'm starting over and for the rest of this week I'll have a decent breakfast b4 the gym in the morning then when I get back just have fruit salad or diet jelly.
I'm so pissed at myself (whats new) I feel like I cant stick to anything, no plan I decide to do works out, I dont do anything I say I'll do, people say I'm losing weight but the scales just take too long to move I'm still stuck at that 76-77kg mark its seriously annoying! I probably wont even weigh 70Kgs by the end of the month. I'm going to take Laxatives now because I want to! then just watch movies and try and fall asleep early.
Losing weight has become my number one priority, its all I care about, its all I want,Its all I need... is to be skinny
My progress...
Hang in there sweet heart, you can do it. Try a piece of fruit before working out, I usually have an apple it gives me the boost I need, and I do a protein shake or bar after.
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