I dont believe my scales

Well my first day of this 800 calorie week plan kinda worked sorta failed?? I ate, I purged, I weighed in this morning at 68.3kgs.. God knows where that came from how does 1 go from 69.0kgs to 68.3kgs overnight?? LIES! but Im not getting too excited about that, because knowing me that number will go up again instead of keeping it there and making it go down, I always end up doing the opposite of what I should be doing.

For lunch today I had steamed zucchini and broccoli bout an hour later I was hungry again and had fried onion rings and 2 slices of wholemeal bread with butter and chicken bits..... yay go fucking me. I know I shoulda had the toast for breakfast this morning, maybe then, I wouldnt have messed up about an hour ago.. making fried food... actually keeping it down so I dont binge again... actually fucking eating it at all!! what was i thinking. now im drinking my body weight in water and hope to work out once I'm done pffft what am I saying, Im GOING TO WORK OUT ONCE IM DONE.

I havnt been paid again today, what is this?? I'm actually supposed to get paid on Fridays but that never happens it always ends up being on the following working day (monday) but nooo ITS FUCKING TUESDAY!! i need money, to be honest this job is really starting to give me the shits, I mean really, I do NOTHING!!! I clean all day sweep up hair, do the dishes, make coffee, clean clean clean.. I do a color on a person like once or twice a week if Im lucky, a blow wave like never... I feel fucking useless there, like whats the point of having me there if im just going to be doing the work of an apprentice?? I get $300 for 3 days of work thursday is a 12 hour shift 9:30-9pm, friday 9:30-5:30 saturday 9am-4pm.

I dont get pay slips, it just automatically goes into my bank account, i really am starting to hate it there, I mean they're alright people to work with and christine went to the same trade school as me so we both feel the same but shes been there for a year I've been there for 5 months, she works full time (my days plus Tuesday and wednesday 9:30-5:30) she gets $500 a week cause she does more than me but yeah.. i dont know, I mean she has her reasons to complain but I have even more and to make it worse IM BORED TO DEATH everyday I go to work. and yes i am too scared to say something.

I've had 650calories today so far and its only 3:05pm so I can only allow myself another 150cals for the day, I think I'll save that for dinner.