Then for dinner I go and load my mouth with
| (x) 8 g: Asian Vegetable, Bok Choy, boiled | 4 | ||
| (x) 14 g: Broccoli, boiled | 4 | ||
| (x) 38 g: Brussel Sprouts, boiled | 14 | ||
| (x) 168 g: Cauliflower, boiled | 42 | ||
| (x) 138 g of Fish, Blue Grenadier Fried | 113 | ||
| Meal Total | 175 | ||
Todays Total: 534
PIG PIG PIG PIG PIG!!!!!
I didnt even go to the gym to workout cause I feel too fat to be in a gym, everyone will stare at me and think "whats that fat chick trying to do? lose weight? then laugh at me" so Im aiming to do 800-1000 + jumping jacks, how much do they burn? i read somewhere that 1jump burns 1.1calories, i dont know whether to believe that or not. anyway i didnt sleep all last night I went to sleep at 10:30am this morning and woke up at 4pm, I just cant sleep anymore!
B came over a few mins before I finished my dinner and asked me if I was going to throw up like it was a good thing? I think he likes me having this ED.....its so messed up! I weighed myself it varies between 77.5 - 78.3kgs through the day, I've been this weight for 2 weeks... tell me what to do, fasting clearly doesnt work cause I suck, maybe liquid diet? but juice has so much calories and sugar.. I dont know anymore I feel like I'm going nowhere slowly...very slowly.
i watched countless eating disorder documentaries last night/this morning seeing that I couldnt sleep, my favourite was one called Thin it was pretty interesting I watched it on youtube you guys should watch it, I dont think its opened my mind or nothing, if anything its probably made me want to be like that even more! anyway Im off to do some JJ's.
Lozz
xoxo
Hang in there my sweet, its going to take a little while to get into, maybe try just cutting your calories back from what you were eating before? 534 Calories, is not that ridiculous. It can always be worst.
ReplyDeleteDon't get too stressed out about the fast. I can't do them either. Some of us just aren't wired for it, I guess. At least you did 30 hours! After 12 hours without food I start to lose most mental functions... And even breaking the fast, 534 is a pretty good number!
ReplyDeleteStay strong, sweetie-pie!
xxxxxx
hey hunnie. I can't fast either..not anymore..
ReplyDeleteJust do what works for you. Plus your intake was good. Why not do the ABC...That intake can count as day one done and dusted!!
good luck sweetie....Oh and your boyfriend is probely not taking your ed seerious because your not thin..I find that unless you look waffer thin and like your about to keel over any min now then people just take it as a joke.
In one way it is good..this way you can purge whenever you like and not worry about making too much noise..
mind you purging makes your checks puffy and you bloated since your body hold water..so try to stop..
x