FML I cant do this anymore.. I cant do anything right or stick to anything today was my 400calorie day and i probably had just under that for breakfast alone! seeing that i fuck up almost everyday I'm just going to try and eat no more than 800 calories a day, for 3 weeks if I can do that, I'll start following a diet plan.
Another thing I've noticed in myself is that... well lets just say mia's been visiting more often in the past few days. i had breakfast and threw up, I feel like whenever I have some food in my stomach I just feel disgusted in myself, like the feeling of having food inside of me makes me feel sick,the feeling of being full makes me sick being empty makes me happy but then i binge after a few hours then purge and its just this continuous cycle of madness, B knows I do it, I know he does its kinda weird he doesnt say anything or try and make me stop.
Thank God Im going to the gym tonight, I want to burn at least 800 calories and I doubt Il have dinner tonight il have some strawberries or stuff myself with watermelon to make myself feel full. I'll update tonight on how the gym went and what I did.
Losing weight has become my number one priority, its all I care about, its all I want,Its all I need... is to be skinny
My progress...
Oh i know how you feel, i was going crazy with not doing anything right last week, i was having 1000 calorie days,bingeing all the time and then i had to spend hours burning it off because i was afraid of it. I was miserable but i just had to take it one day at a time and planning out my meals really helped to stay on track, if you don't do that already it's a good thing to start. Good luck and i hope you burned a lot at the gym.
ReplyDelete